Saturday, December 27, 2014

Something That I Hope That I Shall Never Forget


           I hope that I shall never forget the freshness of snow blowing against my face as I glided down the hill on my Flexible Flyer. If I was lucky, I would catch air mid-way down and experience what it was like to fly, if only for a few seconds. As the ride ended at the clearing, I would jump up and scurry off to the side to make way for the next kid that was rapidly making his way to the finish line.

          Although it has been nearly four decades since my last sled ride, the memory is still fresh.

          I was six years old when I first made my way out to that winter wonderland we called our back yard; bundled in snow boots, snow pants, and snow jacket with the hood tied firmly around my face; I was timidly excited at being allowed to play outside with my big brothers. I was so proud and happy of my new polished wooden sled with the bright red runners. My first day out I would slide down from the halfway point longing for the day I would be strong enough to pull my sled to the very top of that hill where my brothers seemed to rule the winter.

         On the day that I finally made my way to the top of that hill, my brother saw the concern in my face, I felt as though I had made a big mistake by being there. With encouragement I timidly laid down on my belly, face forward, hands tightly on the steering slat, the toes of my boots firmly planted into the snow on the side of the sled as a brake. Lifting first one boot, then the other, then quickly smacking them both down again to stop. My first ride down from the top I dragged my feet along the side of the sled so as not to go too fast.

          By the end of that first day at the top of that hill, my legs were bent at the knees, feet pointing skyward as I squealed with excitement. I sliced through the snow, frost spraying against face and into the space between my head and hood of my parka.  I  jockeyed my sled to the clearing,and skidded sideways to a stop against the snow bank that was also used as a fort for snowball fights, I rolled off the sled laughing with joy of the best day ever.







Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Dream Lover

So I had a dream that I went to a shopping center that I worked at in 1981 to a small store in the corner to have my manual typewriter repaired by Jim Carrey. Although he owned the store and only worked there for fun, he charged me $97 for 5 seconds of work. He asked if I had a coupon (I couldn't find it. He wouldn't give me the discount without it, but he gave me a bunch of music cd's and told me this was our song now. Then he told me to come back later for a date. Really Jim Carey? I'm going to pay you for a date? I don't think so!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Seven, My Unlucky Number

I've been told that it has been proven that one person cannot have more than 7 people in their intimate circle. Although The Dunbar's Number theorem of human maximum "intimate circle size” is12.


I guess I find the maximum number of seven more feasible.  After all Jesus had 12 Disciples; one betrayed Him, one denied knowing Him three times and another didn't believe it was Him after He rose from the dead until He proved Himself.  The two on either end of the last supper table were probably hangers on looking for some free food and drink (I hear Jesus made some really good wine) but when things got too intense they probably took off running**.  That leaves seven.

My mother couldn't find it within herself to be close to my youngest brother and me, perhaps because she had our Dad and 6 siblings before us. The two of us were always resigned to the kids table for meals.

My sister May* and I don't talk, text or email as much since her grandchildren were born. I've been nudged out of her circle by her husband; two daughters; son; son in-law and two darling grand-children.  Yup, adds up to seven.

After his girlfriend moved in with him, I lost contact with my brother Augusto*. Nudged out again by three kids, three grand-kids and a girlfriend. Seven.

My oldest son Julius* has a girlfriend now, he doesn't have time for me anymore. He has his Dad (my X); his little brother (my youngest son Juno*); The Girlfriend; her two sisters, and her parents (they're very close). Seven. No room for Mom to be invited to Christmas or New Years dinner (not even at the kids table).

One would think with all the siblings I have I would be able to have some semblance of a circle of people around me, but no. Part of the reason may be our age, political and/or religious differences and part may be geographical, I live in the very South East and they live in the North East. Or it may be that I am such an a-hole that they can only take me in small doses.  No, that couldn't be it.

I have a gentleman friend who reminds me he is in my circle. That is so sweet, but he jumps out of my circle faster than a Greek captain abandons ship any time my kids do come around .

Recently de-friended someone I've known for many years from Facebook because I felt slighted that I wasn't invited to her wedding, I thought we were closer than she thought we were. After she realized that I de-friended her she sent not one, but two scathing text messages scolding me as if I was a child and telling me among other things that I 'push people away' and that I will basically 'die alone and a very bitter woman' [sic] then proceeded to block me, not that I was going to respond.  Now I've never seen myself as being bitter but, as a writer, I do enjoy the comparison, as unintended as it was, to Sylvia Plath.  And yes, after her hurtful and hate filled rant, I believe I did the right thing by de-friending her. Besides she has her seven, fiancĂ©, three kids, grandchild, best friend and best friends husband. Seven.

I've never been one to fit into societal molds as defined by scholars. I've never had my own circle of people. Perhaps I brought it on myself with my aloof like personality. Maybe some people weren't meant to have circles and instead were meant to be flexible enough to spread out and be available as needed when needed by others.  I would rather not have a closed circle so that others will feel welcome and comfortable enough to approach me when they need a friend or just someone to listen to them and  know that I won't bring up their inner most secrets or fears later on in a scathing text message.  I know I would like people like that in my life.

**pure speculation on my part
*names have been changed to protect me from getting yelled at 


Friday, June 28, 2013

My Foster Grants Saved Your Kids Life....

...and you didn't even know it.

While you had had your back turned and were squinting into the direction of the sun, my Foster Grants saved your kids life.

I was running a few minutes behind for work but I still did my pre-drive safety check before backing out of the parking spot.  While going through those steps I debated whether or not to switch out my bifocals with my prescription sunglasses with the polarized lenses.  I decided to do so for selfish reasons; the early morning South Florida sun hangs eye level as I drive east to the main road and it hurts my eyes and inevitably gives me a headache.

I'm glad I did because as I started to turn the corner; the bright yellow orange ball blasted through the windshield and I caught a glimpse of your son marching across my path in an imaginary parade while you had your back to him with one hand over your brow squinting into that same low hanging Florida sun at some future coming bus that will soon take him to day camp. That same camp that you will be praying for during the day that the counselor will not turn their back on your child while he is swimming.

So was it my Foster Grants that saved your Kids life, or the person behind them?  A question you will never know came up because I didn't blast my horn at you or your son, I left you with a peaceful morning and all was right with the world as you know it. You're welcome.







Monday, June 24, 2013

Ode to: Mein Lieber Braune Heliumballon




Ode to: Mein Lieber Braune Heliumballon

     I saved my new found friend from mass extermination. The celebration was over and the decorations had to come down. There was only one like it throughout the entire room, one brown balloon in a sea of yellows, reds, blues and greens.
     I took my special friend to my cubicle and placed it next to me. As I admired it, my heart started palpitating; my throat tightened; my body became warm and itchy. Could this be true love? Alas, no, tis not. Tis an anaphylactic reaction to its latex rich body.
     Fare thee well mein lieber braune heliumballon, fare thee well.




Sunday, June 23, 2013

Life Would Be A Dream....

Life Would Be A Dream....

     I am a hashtag fanatic. I am constantly looking up hashtag trends to see if I can come up with a good answer. This one hits close to home.
     #Life Would Be Complete If I could Figure out where and how I fit in this world. I am like a puzzle piece wedged into the wrong spot.